Monday, November 16, 2009

Dr. Patty Ann’s 7 Simple & Effective Conflict Resolution Tips

By Patty Ann Tublin
I would be willing to bet you that even Cupid’s has had a couple of fights with his/her partner - leaving a few arrows piercing his heart.  So if the quintessential lover, Cupid, can’t avoid a fight or two, is it any wonder all couples fight?  The secret for a happy, romantic relationship is not the ability to avoid fighting (an impossible task for mere mortals like ourselves) but how we fight.  Yes, there is indeed a right way to fight.  Read on and discover Dr. Patty Ann’s 7 simple and effective ways to fight and resolve conflict between you and your partner.
1.    As the emotional heat gets turned up, and you know you are only heading down the path of an all-out blow-out  between yourself and your partner,  give your self a time-out.  Before you enter the emotional point of no return, where all your reasoning and common sense flies out the window, take a deep breathe and you and your partner should both agree to walk away from the argument until you both cool off and calmer emotions prevail. 
2.    Check out your perspective and position in the fight you are currently engaged in and make sure you and your partner are not arguing about unresolved past conflictsSometimes we use a current conflict and use it to fight about a past conflict, unbeknownst to your partner.  If you and your partner are not fighting about the same issue, believe me, it will never get resolved.
3.    To make sure you avoid #2 in your fighting, once the fighting has begun, make sure you ask for clarification on the issue you and your partner are fighting about. Many times couples find out – after the fight has devolved to the point of no return – they were not fighting about the same issue.  This is pretty hard to believe – unless you have ever been in a relationship. lol.
4.    Admit if you are wrong. It really won’t kill you.
5.    Love means saying “I am sorry”You would be shocked to discover how far an apology will get you in your relationship. Don’t just take my word for it – try it.
6.    Avoid generalizations and using statements that place blame.  “You always” or “I never”;  instead say, “I feel hurt when you ….”; “You make me feel  … when you do or say that”.
7.    Walk a mile in your partner’s shoes by engaging in a little role reversal. Take your partner’s position in your fight – you may still not agree with their position, but it will give you a better understanding as to why they feel the way they do. 
Remember the long-term goal of your relationship is to be happy and together.  When fighting with your partner, do not fall into the trap of having to be right, or having to prove you are right at-all-costs.  Instead, use Dr. Patty Ann’s 7 simple and effective conflict resolution tips.  Otherwise, you might win the battle, but lose the war.
Dr. Patty Ann has a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work, a Master’s Degree in Nursing and she is a Registered Nurse.  She is a board-certified psychotherapist having graduated from a prestigious three year post-graduate psychotherapy training program.
Dr. Patty Ann is a sought after public speaker, author and confidant to other professionals in the field of relationship coaching and expertise.  She brings 25 years of professional coaching and therapy experience helping people BUILD HEALTHIER AND HAPPIER RELATIONSHIPS that increases SATISFACTION in all areas of their relationship while DRAMATICALLY IMPROVING the overall quality of their lives.
Dr. Patty Ann loves to remind people that a GREAT RELATIONSHIP is the FOUNDATION for EVERYTHING else you do! To learn more about Dr. Patty Ann go directly to her website   You may comment on her blog
Follow drpattyann on twitter and on facebook.
Check out Dr. Patty Ann’s e-book titled: “The 3 Secrets to Increase Romance & Happiness in Your Relationship”.  These 3 secrets have never before been revealed in such a simple, concise and reader friendly way!
About to be introduced for sale:  A ground breaking revolutionary  product called: “Dr. Patty Ann’s Relationship Toolbox TM   Jump Start Your Relationship into a Higher Gear” which includes information, exercises, tricks, tools & so much more to GIVE you the relationship you have always dreamt about and DESERVE!!!
About to be announced:  Dates for Dr. Patty Ann’s online workshop.  These calls are with Dr. Patty Ann, where she will speak directly and openly about ALL of the relationship tips and tricks you will not hear anywhere else.


  1. Wow. Simple but profound. Thanks for openning something up inside my head and heart. I will print this out and take it to heart in ALL of my relationships, not just with my husband. Family and friends too.

    Thanks Dr. Patty Ann!

  2. I was talking with someone just this week about the importance of saying sorry (so hard for so many people) and of admitting when we are wrong. So often PRIDE gets in the way. As parents, we also need to keep these things in mind with our kids - so that we are modeling humility for them. Thank you for all of these great reminders!!